When I started this website my intent was to spread the truth of Christ as I didn’t hear it preached enough. Christianity is about love, not hate. Christ is not some inaccessible, holier than thou, judgmental God, and the church has insulated itself from the world instead of working to change it for the better. Also, not all of the criticism thrown against the church is unwarranted. There, I said it. That was my initial intent. See, I started this website shortly after leaving a church where I had been employed for about a year and a half. The church leadership had asked me to move into a position that I did not feel called to, and told me that no matter what my decision was they were taking from me the ministry I had been serving in, and I did not feel it was my time to leave. In their words, the ministry had “outgrown” a part time pastor. That being said, as much as I love them, I didn’t feel I could follow the church leadership any longer. If you can’t get behind the leadership of your church, then it’s not the church for you. So, there I was with my feelings crushed, my life completely in disarray, and a plethora of ideas about God and life that I needed to share. I already had http://ThatGeekyChristian.com and it was doing well, so the next logical step was to create a site devoted to spreading the Gospel.
If you look down below you’ll notice that it’s been months since I’ve written anything. So, what happened? Well, apparently it’s harder to find a church that fits my wife and me than I realized. We visited most of the churches in the area, and none of them felt right. We have been in church the whole time, but when you’re not settled, it’s not the same. In that time, my spiritual growth came to a screeching halt. Not because God stopped moving, but because I stopped seeking. See, it’s easier to wallow in your hurt than to pull yourself up by the bootstraps and move forward. I’ve been in pain, a pain that I conveyed in a number of ways. Sometimes it was an errant note on my personal twitter, which is linked to facebook. Sometimes it was a status update on MySpace. Sometimes it was declining to go to functions because they were hosted by the church we left. I was hurt and I felt justified. As much as I wanted to move forward, my hurt ruled over me. I wanted to keep in touch with all of the 50 plus students who came through the ministry, now I speak to less than 10 on a regular basis. I look back on my time there and I long for it.
I have never been someone who misses people. When I started college my family would always tell me how much they missed me, but I was always too busy pursuing my dreams to become homesick. When dating my wife, she would become angry at me because I never said “I miss you.” However, that is no longer a problem. See, right now, I miss a lot. I miss Wednesdays when I would go to church and be greeted by some amazing teenagers. I miss talking to students until 2 in the morning just to help them get through their personal problems. I miss seeing them each week. I miss camp with the students. That week was the only time I was in the ministry that I was able to be only a pastor for a week; instead of being a pastor and an engineer. To this day when I remember that week, I almost get teary eyed. Compound all this with the fact that I sincerely miss the church I attended before that one (I moved away for work) and I realize that what I actually miss is God.
In the months after I left, no one pushed me, no one tried to continue to drive me closer to God, and I certainly didn’t do it myself. Recently I went on a trip to Oregon. While there, a friend and I went to Multnomah Falls. I’m not a hiker, I’m a GEEKY CHRISTIAN, nowhere in there does it say hiker. I love nature, just am not in the shape I’d like to be. Anyway, the hike up to the top of the waterfall is one mile long and just over 600 feet high. As we were walking up the hill, I honestly didn’t know if I’d make it. I was sweating, it was hard to breathe, and my heart was pounding so hard that I could feel it in my throat. The more I looked up, the further it seemed from the top. Was it possible that while walking up, I was getting further away? It sure felt like it! However, for all of my weaknesses, my friend was bustling up the hill. He seemed like nothing bothered him, and I was oddly energized by his energy. His constant walking encouraged me onward, and when we got to the top, the whole trip was worth it! I felt an amazing sense of accomplishment! As we walked back down that mountain I felt like I was ready to take on the world.
It then occurred to me what had been going on with me. I thought I was strong enough to encourage myself spiritually, but what I really need is someone who’ll push me. We all need someone to push us. It may be your pastor, it may be your best friend, or it may be a family member, but we all need someone. I’ve finally realized that what’s been missing in my life is a sense of urgency that I once had for spreading the word of God. I once felt that if I didn’t speak to everyone I knew about a real Jesus, not the Jesus that popular media displays, people were going to miss out. I had lost that, but I want to get it back! Christianity has a bad reputation because of bad theology, and members who act not in accordance with Christ, but in accordance with the men who run things. It’s time for all of us to return to Jesus. He loves and wants each of us to come to Him. My desire is to be encouraged into a closer relationship with Him. My desire is that everyone who reads this will be pushed to move closer to Christ. If just one of you is moved toward Him, I’ve done my job. I don’t know what my future holds, but I’m starting to feel that stirring of God again. I hope that I’ll be adding much more content in the future, and I pray that it touches you.
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The problem I find with churches is they want to help peoples physical needs, but they leave out preaching Jesus Christ and him Crucified. Jesus did not go around fixing houses or handing out water. Jesus was more concerned with the soul. Sometimes showing love is preaching the truth, and sometimes the truth hurts. Most churches now are seeker sensitive for numbers to join and they appeal to the flesh.
1 Corinthians 1 : 18 For the Preaching of the Cross is to them who perish foolishness.
There is a reason churches have stopped preaching the Gospel of Christ and turned to self help steps, because the Gospel is not popular, and doesn’t draw members. I would suggest to read all of Romans and ask God to show you the importance of faith in the Cross for everything. There will not always be someone on Earth to guide you, trust in God to guide your steps, and the Holy Spirit to give you wisdom. Pray that you forgive, and pray for those that hurt you.
Hi Mary Catherine,
Thanks for reading my post and replying!
I think that the Church has for too long had the opinion that it should be segregated from the world, instead of impacting the world. Jesus didn’t set an example of retreating into a bubble with his disciples. He went into the dark places, and spent time with those that the religious world considered “dirty” or “bad”. Jesus impacted lives because of what he did. He was a radical. His message was different from anything they had heard before. He preached to love your enemy, to turn the other cheek, and he broke Jewish law!
Of course churches should be preaching the truth, no matter what, but that does not mean they should ignore physical needs. The only Jesus that people in this world can see is through his followers. We are called to be like Him, and as such, we are called to love like he loved. Jesus cared for all those around him, even if it meant going against accepted standards. Remember the woman at the well? Part of loving like Jesus is showing compassion for the hurting.
The best way to convince people that Jesus is the way, is to show them His love. Sure the truth hurts, but ministry is not about telling people how they will go to hell. People know when they are not living correctly. The best way is to show what it’s like to follow and truly be like Christ. Churches should never be afraid to preach the truth. The truth, however, is deeper than showing people how they are living outside of God’s will. Church leaders should by all means stand for the bible, and preach the Gospel from the rooftops! However, if people aren’t here to do God’s work, what are we here for?
Believe me, I know that people will always fail and hurt. I’ve done my fair share of both recently. I’m thankful that God has brought me to a place where I can forgive those who hurt me, and I pray those whom I’ve hurt can offer me the same. It was a long and hard process! God is so faithful though, even when we aren’t!
Awesome! Been there, done that. (Well, not the youth pastor thing obviously…haha. But the whole “seeking God then falling away” thing….yeah, been there MANY times.) I find myself there now. I pray for God to move in the youth group at my church. I’m a youth leader. I’ve found myself praying now, “Start with me. Start with the leaders.” How can I expect youth to go where I won’t lead?
I keep thinking of times when life got hard and I turned to God. Well, life has been kinda’ rough lately and yet I feel further away from God than ever and for that stupid reason, I’m just not really looking to Him for answers.
Thank you for sharing this! Sometimes, I think people feel like they have to hide things too much. I know I’m tired of walking around acting like my life is great when it really isn’t. But when no one else around is admitting that, “Hey, life is kinda’ tough right now! I could use someone’s help.” Well, you start to feel like everyone else has it together and they’d look at you like you’re an idiot if you admitted you didn’t have it all together.
I mean, what else is the church for? Except to reach out to others that are hurting and help them along, saved or unsaved! And I didn’t mean to write a book, but this stuff has been weighing on me a LOT lately. I really do appreciate your honesty!
Thanks Lisa, Hopefully I’ve helped!
I have no clue how I came across this blog but I am certain God is speaking. Your frustration in the church is more specifically, from what I am reading, a frustration with the people. For me and my understanding, being Roman Catholic, I go to Church for Christ. My place to receive Him in the Sacrament of the Holy Eucharist . How enormous of a grace this is. Once I realized, duh, THAT is why I go, it has become easier- no almost impossible,( the almost is when my will takes over) to NOT go. Nothing can keep me from Him. Even if you attend a church that is not Catholic and does not have the Christ present in the Eucharist you can make a spiritual journey to Christ when you attend services. Keep that your focus. The others are also there to journey closer to Him (for the most part) and see that as opposed to their weaknesses. Jesus instructs us to love one another, the hardest part is to love those closest to us. Humility. This is essential to love. Loving is a sacrifice and Christ has shown us Thee way to love through His Passion. You are so right in your awareness of the benefits of being pushed by one another, those hills are grueling and we need to sometimes be lifted by those around us to carry our cross. Keep your focus on Christ and everything you do will naturally be for Him.
God Bless
Terri,
Thanks for your insight! Also, thanks for reading and taking the time to respond!
I do hope I didn’t come across as someone who thinks that all in the Church, or the Church as a whole is looking at the wrong thing. I know that many people out there, as well as many churches see the true Christ, and preach about Jesus rightly. Sadly, the most vocal, and as a result most heard opinions of those inside the church, are often not truly representative of Jesus. I may still be searching for the church God intends me to attend, but I know it’s there. I also know of some truly amazing churches! You are so right that Jesus is THE reason to attend church. He is the reason for everything worth doing! Thank you so much for writing. I hope to keep this site updated more regularly, and actually have another writing in the pocket for the near future! I hope you’ll continue to read and I pray that God gives me words that help you in your journey.