That Geeky Church

I do my best thinking when I’m driving.  Something about being alone in a car, with nothing but the open road and my music to keep me company just allows me to have a clearer head about things.  Recently I was driving back home from spending a day with my wonderful girlfriend when a thought hit me: “I wish she could see herself the way I see her; beautiful and wonderful.”  She really is those things!  Throughout our entire friendship (just over 6 months) and the time we’ve been dating (just over 2 months) she has been amazing to me.  She became a friend to me when I needed one most, and before I knew it, I was falling for her.  We don’t always see eye to eye (mostly on art and pickled okra, seriously, who eats that?) but we have an amazing relationship.

Almost immediately after that thought hit me, another struck: “That’s just how God looks at us.”  I realized that God thinks of me the same way.  I see all the bad things in my life.  I know the times I fail Him, and the times I fail others, and the times I fail me.  I know how much I struggle with the same issues over and over and over again.  Sometimes I feel I’m caught in a vicious cycle and will never be free.  I feel like I’m broken.  I feel too disgusting for God.  I believe it’s in those times, that God thinks “I wish he could see himself the way I see him, beautiful and wonderful.”

God created us in His own image.  No other creature on earth has that distinction.  He loves us dearly.  I think often we get so hung up on the Old Testament vision of God as a punisher and ruler that we forget that we live under a new covenant.  We live under the covenant God made with us through His son, Jesus.  When Jesus was hung on the cross, he took all past, present and future sins from us.  They were all laid on His body.  Jesus’ sacrifice was the ultimate sacrifice for all of humanity.  John 3:16 is one of the most well-known bible verses of all time and it says ““For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” (NIV) All that’s asked of us is to accept it, and follow Him.  Romans 10:9-11 says “9 That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.10 For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved.11 As the Scripture says, “Anyone who trusts in him will never be put to shame.”” (NIV) When we do that, God sees us as He saw his very own son; beautiful and wonderful.

I don’t know about you, but it’s comforting for me to know that I have a God who sees me in a better light than I see myself.  You may be wondering why He does that.  Well, He does it because He loves us and 1 Corinthians 13:4-5 states “4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.5 It is not rude, it is not self‑seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” (NIV) Think for a moment about those whom you truly love.  Do you only focus on the bad that they have done to you, or do you remember more of the good times?  If you truly love them, then you aren’t hung up on the things they’ve done to hurt you.  God is the same way with us, only whereas we’re flawed and often let old hurts creep back in, God doesn’t.  He sees us as He intended us, beautiful and wonderful.

Some people say that they would not change anything in their lives if given the opportunity.  I don’t think I’m one of those people.  See, I’ve done plenty that I regret.  When I look back over my life, I think of periods that I wish I could remove.  Periods when I was away from God, when I did things I’d rather not speak of, much less remember.  Periods when I’ve lost my temper and did or said things that I immediately regretted.  Why wouldn’t I want to change those things?  Wouldn’t you?  Is there some reason that I would want to keep those bad things in my life?

Well, as I write this I am reminded that God uses everything to His glory. That means he uses both good and bad in our lives.  So I suppose the question is: “When I look back over my life, can I see where he did that for me?”  Well, in 2001 I found myself in a situation where I was barely in church and not living for God.  I started hanging out with people who were also not in church and who had absolutely no desire to live for God.   My foundation was weak, and they tore me down.  I found myself, a “Christian” mind you, in seedy places.  I saw things that I never should have seen, and went places I never should have been.  I know that God did not put me on this earth to hang around places like that.  So, if I could take back that time in my life I’m pretty sure I should, and would.

However, nothing with God is ever as cut and dry as that.  You see, three years later I had begun fully living for God.  I was involved in my church, worked in the college ministry, and really had a desire to see people come to know the love of Christ.  One night, I was involved in a very sincere and heartfelt conversation with a friend.  My friend was misunderstood about me and my life.  He had this big idea that I had never struggled with sin.  He had not met the older me, and just knew the man he saw before him.  As our conversation continued, the opportunity came for me to share with him my previous struggles.  When I opened up to him, he told me that he had been dealing with the same issues.  I didn’t know that, but God did.  I suppose it was that conversation that allowed my friend to see what God could do in someone when allowed to work, and it was only a few nights later that my friend gave his life to Christ.  God used my sin to His glory!

What about other sins?  I mean my struggles didn’t stop in 2001, they still haven’t stopped.  I struggle daily with battles from the enemy.  Some days I feel like I’m the victor and sometimes I feel utterly defeated.  You see, it’s been a long time since I updated this site.  In that time, I’ve had a lot of things happen in my life.  My marriage of nearly five years crumbled and ended, I changed jobs, moved to a new city, and am literally starting over fresh in almost every human aspect of my life.  In my spiritual journey, I’ve found myself in the driest of times, and I’ve found times when I just cry because of God’s presence.  I yearn for where I used to be with Him.  Surely, God would want me to go back and change things so that I never feel defeated, right?  Actually, as I think about it, maybe he wouldn’t.

I believe God revealed to me that the past is just that, in the past.  I know that doesn’t sound profound, but realizing it can really make you feel better.  See, I messed up and did not always follow His will, but now is not the time to dwell on it.  God wants me to move on.  He wants me to realize that no one in this world is perfect, not me, not my family, not my friends, and not even my pastor.  God is the only perfection, and we are all going to mess up.  I think God just wants us to lay aside all the imperfections in our lives, and start fresh with Him.  I believe it’s time to move forward in life with our lord, our shield, our strength, and our refuge with us.

So, looking back I suppose that if given the opportunity I would not change a single thing.  I may not be proud of some of the things that I’ve done.  I may not be happy with some of the periods in my life, but I know that it’s too late to worry about them now.  God will be glorified through them, and in spite of them, and that gives me comfort.

Image Credit: http://scienceblogs.com

When I started this website my intent was to spread the truth of Christ as I didn’t hear it preached enough.  Christianity is about love, not hate.  Christ is not some inaccessible, holier than thou, judgmental God, and the church has insulated itself from the world instead of working to change it for the better.  Also, not all of the criticism thrown against the church is unwarranted.  There, I said it.  That was my initial intent.  See, I started this website shortly after leaving a church where I had been employed for about a year and a half.  The church leadership had asked me to move into a position that I did not feel called to, and told me that no matter what my decision was they were taking from me the ministry I had been serving in, and I did not feel it was my time to leave.  In their words, the ministry had “outgrown” a part time pastor.  That being said, as much as I love them, I didn’t feel I could follow the church leadership any longer.  If you can’t get behind the leadership of your church, then it’s not the church for you.   So, there I was with my feelings crushed, my life completely in disarray, and a plethora of ideas about God and life that I needed to share.  I already had http://ThatGeekyChristian.com and it was doing well, so the next logical step was to create a site devoted to spreading the Gospel.

If you look down below you’ll notice that it’s been months since I’ve written anything.   So, what happened?  Well, apparently it’s harder to find a church that fits my wife and me than I realized.   We visited most of the churches in the area, and none of them felt right.  We have been in church the whole time, but when you’re not settled, it’s not the same.  In that time, my spiritual growth came to a screeching halt.  Not because God stopped moving, but because I stopped seeking.  See, it’s easier to wallow in your hurt than to pull yourself up by the bootstraps and move forward.  I’ve been in pain, a pain that I conveyed in a number of ways.  Sometimes it was an errant note on my personal twitter, which is linked to facebook.  Sometimes it was a status update on MySpace.  Sometimes it was declining to go to functions because they were hosted by the church we left.  I was hurt and I felt justified.   As much as I wanted to move forward, my hurt ruled over me.  I wanted to keep in touch with all of the 50 plus students who came through the ministry, now I speak to less than 10 on a regular basis.  I look back on my time there and I long for it.

I have never been someone who misses people.  When I started college my family would always tell me how much they missed me, but I was always too busy pursuing my dreams to become homesick.  When dating my wife, she would become angry at me because I never said “I miss you.”  However, that is no longer a problem.  See, right now, I miss a lot.   I miss Wednesdays when I would go to church and be greeted by some amazing teenagers.  I miss talking to students until 2 in the morning just to help them get through their personal problems.   I miss seeing them each week.  I miss camp with the students.  That week was the only time I was in the ministry that I was able to be only a pastor for a week; instead of being a pastor and an engineer.  To this day when I remember that week, I almost get teary eyed.  Compound all this with the fact that I sincerely miss the church I attended before that one (I moved away for work) and I realize that what I actually miss is God.

In the months after I left, no one pushed me, no one tried to continue to drive me closer to God, and I certainly didn’t do it myself.  Recently I went on a trip to Oregon.  While there, a friend and I went to Multnomah Falls.  I’m not a hiker, I’m a GEEKY CHRISTIAN, nowhere in there does it say hiker.   I love nature, just am not in the shape I’d like to be.  Anyway, the hike up to the top of the waterfall is one mile long and just over 600 feet high.  As we were walking up the hill, I honestly didn’t know if I’d make it.  I was sweating, it was hard to breathe, and my heart was pounding so hard that I could feel it in my throat.  The more I looked up, the further it seemed from the top.  Was it possible that while walking up, I was getting further away?  It sure felt like it!   However, for all of my weaknesses, my friend was bustling up the hill.  He seemed like nothing bothered him, and I was oddly energized by his energy.  His constant walking encouraged me onward, and when we got to the top, the whole trip was worth it!  I felt an amazing sense of accomplishment!  As we walked back down that mountain I felt like I was ready to take on the world.

It then occurred to me what had been going on with me. I thought I was strong enough to encourage myself spiritually, but what I really need is someone who’ll push me.  We all need someone to push us.  It may be your pastor, it may be your best friend, or it may be a family member, but we all need someone.  I’ve finally realized that what’s been missing in my life is a sense of urgency that I once had for spreading the word of God.  I once felt that if I didn’t speak to everyone I knew about a real Jesus, not the Jesus that popular media displays, people were going to miss out.  I had lost that, but I want to get it back!   Christianity has a bad reputation because of bad theology, and members who act not in accordance with Christ, but in accordance with the men who run things.  It’s time for all of us to return to Jesus.  He loves and wants each of us to come to Him.  My desire is to be encouraged into a closer relationship with Him.   My desire is that everyone who reads this will be pushed to move closer to Christ.  If just one of you is moved toward Him, I’ve done my job.  I don’t know what my future holds, but I’m starting to feel that stirring of God again.  I hope that I’ll be adding much more content in the future, and I pray that it touches you.

In this world there are many heroes.  People idolize sports figures, actors, singers, and even pastors.  However, everyone in this world falls.  The higher the pedestal a person is put on, the further from grace that person falls when he or she fails.  It’s human nature to place certain people with talents above others in our minds.

News broke recently that Michael Phelps was caught smoking marijuana.  Pictures surfaced of Phelps using a bong in order to use the drug.  Michael Phelps is a 23 year old person, who is flawed, and many other 23 year old people do the same thing, but when Phelps did it, it became news.  It’s news because Michael Phelps was recently given the “crown” of “America’s Greatest Athlete”.   His performance in the 2008 Olympics was a feat that no person had ever matched before.  It gained international recognition for him, sent sponsors sprinting his way, and made millions of people admire him.  Michael Phelps was on a pedestal, and he fell, he fell far.

However, we should not pass judgment on Michael.  It is not for us to condemn him for his actions.  See, we all fall.  Phelps’ actions are saddening, but each of us struggle each day and we fall into sin. In Luke 6:42 Jesus said “How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”  (NIV)

What’s dangerous for us is placing all of these people on a platform is that we place our faith in them instead of God.  We place faith in something doomed to fail when there’s only one person who doesn’t fail, God.  When we look at these people, it’s easy to see all of their faults.  As a matter of fact, every fault is sought out by a hungry media, and exploited for money.  However, what we do is ignore our own faults, focus on theirs, and then we feel better about ourselves.  That’s not healthy, and it’s not how we are commanded to live in scripture.  I pray that I’ll be able to find my own faults and deal with them more effectively rather than look for solace in the imperfections of others.  How about you?

Growth, this is what most churches talk about.  How many people can they get into the door?  Ministry only grows during this time of year, and during that time you can expect to have low numbers is what they say.  Well, I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of status quo.  I’m tired of doing what other people say we are supposed to be doing.  It’s time to buck the trend!

Growth in numbers is great.  It’s wonderful to have more people in your ministry, and I’m excited every time I hear what God is doing in His church.  True ministry is not about numbers, however.  The growth we should desire is spiritual.  I desire, and I believe God desires to see change in the hearts of the His people.  When I was a youth pastor I saw some amazing things.  I saw students come to know Christ when they didn’t before.  I saw the broken put back on the path to healing.  I saw the timid become bold.  God is still doing great things in His people!

Does this mean we should become complacent and not invite others into church?  Absolutely not!  We are called to make disciples of all nations.  So, for our mission to be fulfilled, we have to be willing to stand for Christ!  We have to be that voice in the wilderness trying to show a hurt and dying world the way to an amazing savior.  When we do that, the church will grow in numbers, but those numbers will not be superficial, they’ll be people looking for true change in their lives!

You know, many people in the sports world are talented, but not all have heart.  See, those with heart are the ones who inspire.  They are the ones who no matter the situation are doing all they can to be the best at what they do.  Olympic athletes have heart.  They sacrifice time and money to pursue their dreams of an Olympic Gold.  They have a passion for what they do that cannot be taken away easily.  Just this year the U. S. team had a 41 year old swimmer who in between Olympics had a baby.  She asked the doctor the day her daughter was born when she could swim again, and was in the pool that same day!  She trained hard, and went to Beijing to win gold.  She missed the gold medal by 0.01 seconds, losing to a 16 year old girl.  Dara Torres has heart.  She walked immediately off the medal stand to help her team attempt to win a gold medal.  Even though she out swam her opponent in her heat, the U. S. team was too far behind, and they won silver again.

Dara was able to do what she did at the Olympics because her heart was in it.  She has a love for swimming, and an ability that few in the world, much less her age, have.  Having the ability would not have been enough, however.  We all have the ability to impact others for Jesus positively.  Where is your heart?  Is your heart in it?  Are you willing to sacrifice for God?  Many times we know we can do it, but we feel the costs are too high.  We are comfortable in our lives and it is too much work to prepare and train for God.  If your heart is in it, you can do amazing things for God.  What is your heart yearning for today?  Do you want to help people see who Jesus really is, or are you content watching others do it?

Well, it’s a new year, and everyone knows what that means, it’s time to break your resolutions!  I love the beginning of each new year.  It is a chance for a new start, an opportunity for change, another year for things to be different, goals to be met, and our lives to change.  Even though technically January 1 is no different than any other day, it feels fresh.

One thing I like to do each year is reflect on the past year.  I guess it gives me some grounding to see what God’s done, where He’s taken me, and look at where I may be headed.  For me, 2008 was a rocky year.  I saw some of the highest times in my life, and went through one of the hardest.  I started out the year in a church where I fully expected to become a full time staff member and ended it looking for a new place to worship.  I saw a youth ministry grow to approximately double its original size with many teenagers coming to know Christ, and I’ve seen some of those same teenagers push me away.  God has never taken me down a straight and easy path, so I don’t know why I expected this to be any different.

The fact that my path hasn’t been straight is not an indication that I’ve been forgotten, however.  See, I know that no matter what happens in my life, God is in control.  He never fails, and his plan is flawless.  So, even though I look forward to 2009 as a year that can bring great change in my life, I know that God already has it planned for me, and it’s even better than I could have imagined.

I’m excited for this year.  I know that God is planning something big for me.  I know that He will not leave me in the cold, and even if my path is not what I will it to be, God’s plan is better and I’d rather follow it.  How about you?  How will you face 2009?  Will you continue to fight to get your own way, or stive to follow God’s?  His path may not be what you would choose, and it may not always be easy, but if you are willing to follow it, you’ll find that the result will be much greater!

We all love entertainment.  Who doesn’t love a good movie?  I love the movies.  When my wife and I were dating we’d go to the movies practically every weekend.  I like movies so much that this past summer I saw every blockbuster in the theater.  I saw the epic “Dark Knight” 4 times!  Man, thinking back on it, I may have given cinema a bit too much money!  That notwithstanding, entertainment can be a good thing.

We’ve become an entertainment society.  We look for entertainment everywhere, including our churches.  However, is that a good place to look to be entertained?  Now, don’t get me wrong, I love a great worship band and neat graphics as much as the next guy, but those things are nothing without God. Church isn’t a place to just be entertained.  It’s a place to be challenged to live for Jesus.  It’s a place to learn about God’s love a grace.  Church is where the spiritually hungry come to learn where the food is located.

Let’s get hungry for God.  Let’s not go to church just to see what the band will sing, or the cool videos used by the pastor.  Isn’t it time to make sure we are coming to church to hear a word from the Lord?  Isn’t it time we are here on Sundays and Wednesdays to hear from God?  I think so.  If you are missing out on God on Sunday or Wednesday, what happens when you need him the rest of the week?

I love Christmas!  Always have.  I’m one of those people who can listen to Christmas music in June.  It doesn’t matter to me that it’s 100 degrees outside, if I’m in the A/C and listening to Jingle Bells, somehow I imagine that it’s 40 degrees outside and I’m about to spread some holiday cheer.  I know it’s weird, but hey, it’s been 70 most of December in Alabama this year anyway.

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about Christmas, and what it means.  Of course, to talk about Christmas, we should read about the first Christmas.

Luke 2

¹And it came to pass in those days that a decree went out from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be registered. ²This census first took place while Quirinius was governing Syria. ³So all went to be registered, everyone to his own city.

⁴Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judea, to the city of David, which is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and lineage of David, ⁵to be registered with Mary, his betrothed ^£wife, who was with child. ⁶So it was, that while they were there, the days were completed for her to be delivered. ⁷And she brought forth her firstborn Son, and wrapped Him in swaddling cloths, and laid Him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.

⁸Now there were in the same country shepherds living out in the fields, keeping watch over their flock by night. ⁹And behold, an angel of the Lord stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were greatly afraid. ¹⁰Then the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy which will be to all people. ¹¹For there is born to you this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. ¹²And this will be the sign to you: You will find a Babe wrapped in swaddling cloths, lying in a manger.”

¹³And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying:

¹⁴ “Glory to God in the highest,

And on earth peace, goodwill toward men!”

That’s what this season is all about right there.  The birth of our Savior, our heavenly father, John 3:16 says:

¹⁶For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.

God gave us all a gift on that day in Bethlehem.  You know, not everyone knew that Jesus was special at his birth.  Remember the innkeepers?  They saw no more than a young couple wanting a room, and with nothing special to offer, turned them away.  I see a lot of parallels between the innkeepers and many of us today.  You see, to the innkeeper, Joseph and Mary were just two people and their baby would be no more than another citizen; nothing special.  They turned them away and never thought twice.  Why would they?  Chances are they had turned away a hundred others before them.

You see, many people today do the same thing.  They celebrate this season, with no thought of why it’s special.  Many know that the season of Christmas is to celebrate Christ’s birth, but have no frame of reference for what that means.  I’ve seen so many shows and movies that talk about “Christmas Spirit” and how to get it, and almost every one of them talks about giving.  “The season of giving.”

Boy do we give.  We give and we give and we give.  Buy, buy, buy.  That’s what Christmas has become.  Every store knows it.  They put out the displays before October is over.  It was the strangest sensation this year to go to Sam’s Club in October and see the Halloween costumes on one side of an aisle, and Christmas decorations being put out on the other.  They don’t do it to be Politically Correct, but because they know that they will make money off Christmas!  We as Christians fall into the trap as badly as anyone.  Don’t get me wrong.  I love giving gifts.  I like to see people light up when I’ve picked the right present.  However, without the right focus, we may as well be just wasting money.  When we lose sight of the real reason for the season, Jesus’ birth, we fall into the trap of consumerism.

Matthew 6:19

¹⁹“Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; ²⁰but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. ²¹For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

When we simply exchange gifts just for the sake of gifts… we fall into a trap of storing up goods for ourselves.  If not for ourselves, we fall into helping others into a trap of storing up goods.  How many times have you seen people not be satisfied with their Christmas because they didn’t get something they wanted?  We should focus on Jesus.  We should place our emphasis on glorifying Him.

Don’t get me wrong.  Presents, and food, and everything are great, but the real reason we celebrate is that God gave us the ultimate gift, His son.  We celebrate because we have been given the ultimate gift.  We have been given the greatest opportunity of all time, a chance to live life eternally with our father in heaven, a gift we didn’t deserve!